i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
