"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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