so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
