She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize