so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize