Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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