awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
