I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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