found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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