What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.