her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.