I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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