Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.