Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
