This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's blow job season.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
