so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
