everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
