you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
