I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
