Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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