Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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