Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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