yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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