help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
