what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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