That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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