i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
COCAINE IS GR8
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
