would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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