this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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