Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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