how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
