hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I want her autograph on my taint
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
