The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
