No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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