Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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