You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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