is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
