ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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