I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and she was petting her beer can
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
