Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM