I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.