I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?