I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is wine microwaveable?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.