my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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