You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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