got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
