you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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