If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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