Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?