Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Holy sore nipples Batman
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious