That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
