im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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