If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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