Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
