Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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