Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
