i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
