i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
