I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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