can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
