gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
