You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize