Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
