Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
