i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
