i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
