fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
