No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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