So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
