Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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